Real Divas Ride

Do You Have What It Takes To Ride With A Diva ?

Advice for making hubby realize I'm serious about riding?

Hi,

My husband of 22 years doesn't want to talk about or recognize my love or interest in a bike. I signed up for the 2 week class at the comm college for the MSF class. He freaked out and told me no. I went anyway, telling him I'd use it as a guide to see if it was really something I wanted to do. (I knew full well it was, but thought it might help ease him into idea) I passed and have my endorsement. I even tried getting him into doing it with me. He wants nothing to do with bikes, he is convinced I will get killed on one. I used to ride dirt bikes and atv's, and tried for years to to get him to buy some to take to our cabin in Northern Michigan. Again, no interest. I recently lost 140 pounds and have decided to fullfill some of my "bucket list" before I get to old to really enjoy. He just isn't getting it, and keeps going back to you will die on one.

Has anyone else dealt with husband and family who are dead set against you riding?

Any ideas, comments or articles on the subject?

Help...I love my husband, but this just doesn't feel fair to me. Am I being the unfair one?

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Comment by Diane "Vixxen" Mentz on November 30, 2010 at 3:13pm
I know I am a little late on this and glad I found this site.
My hubby sounds JUST like yours! When we got together in 99' I had my Shadow, I have since lost it in a divorce that also happened in 99'. Anyway since that time I have bugged and bugged him for another bike, I talk bikes, read magazines, I started leaving the mags in his bathroom for him to read. We had a baby girl in 04' and then it became what you hear, you will get killed, what kind of Mother would ride and get killed... Well I have persisted, talking, reading,car/bike shows.
I am not sure exactly what happened as it seemed to happen over night, he says, I want to learn to be a motorcycle mechanic???? Well of course he hasn't had that opportunity, someday soon I hope it comes about. This happened the begining of 2010. Again I would just leave mags around, articles and what have you and answer questions as knowledgable as I can when he asks, the fact that he asks makes me feel proud that I have ridden and shows him I am not irresponsible. Then in April of this year 2010, he says I want to buy a bike, what kind do you think I should get????
Well we have moved from two states since then, I have brought him into shops with mostly motor clothes and fun accessories first. He says when we take our daughter who is now 6 into one, she loves them and will go looking for her own jacket, I said where is Kat, he said over there I see her, don't worry I am sure this is the safest place in the world for her, making a comment that basically said, bikers seem like good family and will watch out for all involved. I was impressed!!
Since then I have finally Gotten him to a Harley shop and a Honda shop.
Taking him to a nice bike shop was the final yank in the fish line, he took the bait , hook, line,sinker (as they say). Now HE talks bikes all the time, is making a choice on what he wants and the jacket,helmet,boots etc. We don't have it yet, and I may have to ride Beotch once in awhile till I get me a new one but the deed is done.!!
Follow yer dream girl, never let it die, keep on him gently, slowly but be persistant.
Good Luck!
Comment by Christine Jacobson on September 23, 2010 at 11:06am
No, you are not being unfair, in my estimation. You have your own life to live...it does not belong to your husband. My brother is a life-long rider...even had his own motorcycle shop for many years. When he heard from my sister that I had bought a motorcycle, he said, "Oh no!" What'd she go and do THAT for!" Well, now that he knows that I have learned to ride it, he has softened and is very supportive, even telling me the other day that he is proud of me! Your hubby will be proud of you too! Just be patient...and I would bet that one day he will want to learn too!
Comment by Deb Dubya on August 30, 2010 at 1:11pm
AGREED!! I couldnt have said it better myself Sunny!
Comment by Bobbie Tyler on July 24, 2010 at 11:26pm
find some great blogs from intelligent, experienced riders & let him read it, find a reputable bike dealer & take him with you to browse, & when he sees you are serious, surrounded by positive riders & above all-safe & he will come around. There are some great books by women riders, get them & skip the chest-thumping chopper mags
Comment by kimberly Sisk on July 11, 2010 at 11:42am
Thanks Sunny,
Your advice is great. I'm not going to give up...I'll keep chipping away at him until he gives in.
Comment by Sunny The Diva on July 10, 2010 at 2:35pm
No, and if he were not being selfish he would encourage you to live your life to the fullest. Dream big and set your goals high. I am a survivor and my family was upset when I started riding again. Once they realized how happy it made me they eventually stop speaking against it. Do not live your life based on someone else's fears. Encourage him to do what makes him happy. That is all that I can say about this subject. Marriage is a partnership. You shouldn't need permission to enjoy life.

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